After China banned my blog

Borderless Browsing right!

2009-07-10T19:27:00.000-07:00

I just hate the fact that China banned this and that....

I really prefer to use blogspot over spacelives, we will see how long I can use this agent to free myself from borders browsing controlling.

Hurt

2009-05-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

No one will hurt somebody forever. No one will and no one should.

But when this is actually happening, the same person hurting you again and again the same way, is probably a good time to think about yourself.

The cause maybe is you, not that somebody else.

Is easy to say forgive and forget, but when it comes to someone that has been hurting you the same way again and again, watch out the battered syndrome.

Because we all thought, we have control in a bad situation, we all thought the world is spinning around us, we all thought we can change thing to the way we want.

I can't stand the centrism,but I can't deny that is true. Because most of us forget, to get what you want, you don't get it, you don't go after it, you have to attract it.

Hurt won't go away if you continue to attract them come to you. You need to cut that line of attraction.

And again, is always easy to say.

Congratulation

2009-05-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

Congrats to myself.

Finally, someone will hate me for the rest of their life.

Good job indeed, good job!!

A Little Piece of Land

2009-05-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

许多人花一辈子往外飞,而幸运的我很早就有这个机会,真的很感激所有的神,虽然我从来都不曾相信过你们.

从以前计划着明天做什么,周末做什么,下周末做什么,到月底做什么,年底做什么3年后做什么.

一直到现在,10年后我要看到怎样的自己,10年内我可以做什么.

也许人真的在有长远计划之后才真正长大,才能开始对社会做出贡献.

外面的世界太大,我努力飞了那么久,自己还是那么渺小.

所以我要花3年的时间把自己捆绑在一片小小的土地,用我自己累积的小小大世界经验,小小积蓄,小小心愿,在这一片小小的土地创造出大大的价值.

期待自己另一次的蜕变,很快了!

Determination

2009-05-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

Is hard to keep your determination. But a constant reminder of all the sadness and tears should help to keep your eyes look forward.

Don't look back, look forward.

A few big plan for the next 12 months, exciting.

My new life, shall it begin now?

If

2009-05-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

I told myself,

if I see you today I am going to tell you I miss you.

But I didn't see you.

So I just tell that to myself.

3 times.

My secret trip

2009-04-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

Starting tomorrow.

Now we are entering the serious flu season.

I don't like virus, but I will still have to go on with my secret trip. For secret service and a big secret mission that need to be accomplished.

The last thing on my list will be wearing a mask.

Should I?

My hair dresser

2009-04-23T17:48:00.000-07:00

Last night I dream about my hair dresser. The only hair dresser I will use in China.

Well, I probably have less than 5 hair dressers cut my hair for my entire life. That's very few because I always have short hair so I will need a hair cut every 3 months.

I remember the first time I found this awesome hair dresser in China, I have tears in my eyes.

It is just like you finally meet your soul mate that you have been seeking for a long long time, and you will not allow anyone else to touch your hair ever.

But anyway, I saw a sign in my dream.

Is time for a new hair do!

After all

2009-04-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

We can't be alone.

My friend in Peru volunteering told me this kid that she was taking care of call Mira. (Because the only word he can say is Mira Mira) He was locked up by his parents for 5 years so he couldn't speak. This kid is more aggressive than the rest and he even bite or hit people around him when he is in a bad mood.

5 years being locked up with no interaction with anyone. There's no need of physical torture to shape a person forever, you just need to make them really really lonely.

So if you are telling me now you are great in handling loneliness, try being lock up for 5 years. That's how you define loneliness.

You can talk again, cause there's people around you would love to listen.

Studio photo shot

2009-04-21T22:31:00.000-07:00

Guy, I mean man, male, should never go to studio and have your posing picture taken unless under these circumstances:

1) Your wedding photo shot
2) You are on some important magazines cover (means, you are successful and famous)
3) Commercial or promotion used
4) Your graduation
5) Family photo shot
6) You are an actor or star, got no choice but is your job to have photo taken in a studio.

If is not any of the reason above, please stay away from studio photo shot. Because it will not get you anywhere but trouble. Please only take normal picture like a normal person, we don't need to know how high your self-awareness is till you need to go to the studio and take some "manly posing" pictures.

The trance of man become more and more feminine is getting serious.

Somebody gotta do something about it.

Because ...

MAN COME TO THIS WORLD TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING GREATER THAN TAKING A FANCY PHOTO.

Now you hear me.

Another story about what I like to deny

2009-04-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

I know PMS exist.

But, the existence of PMS depends on the happiness level in your life.

If there's absolutely nothing to pick on regarding your life, your relationship, your job, the people around you. There's no way PMS can survive.

People get frustrated about something, people have so much hate...jealousy, greed, prejudice...

Your happiness is caused by someone sadness, your sadness is to protect someone else happiness.

This is never a fair world and never will be.

Even though I still believe, a story about the earth creation. When earth was a new born planet long long time ago, everything is fair, and there's no PMS. And there's no god because we don't need one.

Because we don't need excuses when everything is fair.

When you wish me fine

2009-04-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

That's the greatest gift of all time.

But please don't regret, because I will be fine.

And you will be fine too.

Many years ago, we were still a piece of white paper.

LOVE

2009-04-08T22:54:00.000-07:00

The first true love for me, is the moment I am touched by the white snow.

Is magical. I have finally fall in love with something that is not human.

While seeking love within the human circle can be so defeated and uninteresting, I have been trying really hard to seek outside the human race.

Not pet, I will die when they die.

Not plant, they will die when I die.

Not books, when I don't give them attention, they start collecting dust.

But snow, if I die, they will keep falling from the sky.

If I can't give them attention, they will still keep falling from the sky, when the season comes.

Then I realize, LOVE should be something that will keep on moving regardless. Nothing can change it, nothing can make it stop, just like snow.

"It's always snowing somewhere".

For men

2009-04-08T02:16:00.000-07:00

Talk to me when you start growing wrinkles around your eyes.

You might not see enough but at least you start looking.

Lies

2009-04-02T04:09:00.000-07:00

05. LIES

http://www.thesixtyone.com/trifonic/songs/popular/1/#/trifonic/song/Lies/27338/

Written and programmed by Trifonic / Lyrics by Laurence Trifon
Mixed by Trifonic and John Rodd
Vocals - Amelia June
Guitars - Brian Trifon

Lyrics:
When you walked away it was the
Saddest day the world has known
Shattered my heart and left me in
Pieces of a broken home
Now you say you need me
Standing at the door
Asking if you can come in
And I can’t say no, I can’t say no

You and I just can’t say goodbye
Every time we do, well
It’s just another lie
I know you’re no good for me, but
Every time I’m with you there’s
Nowhere I’d rather be

We’ve been to hell, been burnt by the
Flames of a pain so deep that
Even the strongest god in the heavens would
Kneel and weep
But here I lie
Pressed against your skin
Right where I want to be
You’re the sweetest sin

Enlightenment

2009-03-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

I went to one of the most famous sightseeing spot in WuXi (无锡), Buddha of Lin Shan Mountain. (灵山大佛)

I don't have a religion myself, and I never thought of having one, but I am constantly seeking for a peace of mind without the religion help.

Being there, I didn't do any worship activity, I just simply make myself fully engaged with the natural environment on the mountain.

The atmosphere there is great, just like the name of it- Lin Shan (Mountain of Spirit). The whole mountain is covered by spring fresh green tea (碧螺春） and blossom flowers. The big Buddha standing in the middle, facing the famous Tai Hu (second largest lake in China).

There's not a lot of people, not many cars, not many noise. I am covered by the fresh mountain air with the bliss of spring.

I found a peace of mind, right there, at that moment.

I am not sure if this will be called as "enlightenment", it is just a state that my mind is blank.

My mind is blank, I am not thinking about anything but I am alive.

Then slowly, I have this vision, is a great plain field surrounded by mountain, the opening is to the sky and the ocean, is bright and warm.

Suddenly I accepted the fundamental true of life: when there's nobody there for you, nature will take care of you. Loneliness is just a state to achieve something more, you will reach a stage that normal people won't, if you never experience the ultimate loneliness.

I really don't need anybody right now. I am just glad that I am standing here and breathing, what more do I want?

And I start thinking about the reason that my boss strongly discourage me to visit Tibet, because I might really end up staying there and never come back.

Because, without my notice, I have grown up from those hurts and pains, I have absorb the ugliest side of the world and dissolved them.

Special day

2009-03-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

Is special, but there's no picture allowed to be taken.

There are good memories and bad memories, and if I am able to snap a shot of those good one, it will be very nice. If I am able to snap a shot of those bad one, it will be very nice too.

We all want to remember, the good times and the bad times, good times for the fun of it, bad times for us to remember how good it is at the present.

But we can't snap a shot, because it is not allowed.

No matter how special the day is, we can only use our eyes as the camera lens, our brain as the SD memory card.

Sometimes, even looking at this very special day is a luxury wish that cannot be achieved. When you try to be close in a space full of distance, very long distance, there's no way to snap a shot, through a camera or eye.

There's only imagination can be used to determine, if this special day can be a good memory or a bad memory.

Still today

2009-03-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

Today is a long day.

I feel like I already lost it.

There' s nothing left besides emptiness.

I think I am right, when you are too afraid of losing something, you always end up hurting it.

And if you let it comes and goes, it stays with you as long as you let it comes and goes.

Our hands are not mean to hold on to something, our heart is not for bonding a soul.

I don't know what's wrong for being desperate, I don't know what's wrong for overly concern about something.

I guess you just can't do a good job when stress is high.

And is still today, I am looking excuses for my mistake and I am pretending that is OK to be blue.

Maybe, is OK to lost it all. So I can either start all over again or do something greater than this.

Is not because of PMS

2009-03-25T20:56:00.000-07:00

Today I feel like I am losing one of the most important person in my life.

And I refuse to blame that on PMS.

I really think PMS doesn't exist, but my belief has not been very consistent.

I rather believe that I am just born to be very mean, and the words I will chose to use are the hurting kind.

I enjoy doing it, I enjoy being a mean person.

Is not because of PMS.

(I am still denying.)

My life must be really boring..

2009-03-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

My friend said I wrote a lot these days.

He said there are so many dying blogs, dead blog, or blog for sale out there but I have been writing for so many years.

Then he said, "Your life must be really boring..

or, you just don't have anyone to sleep with at home."

WTF.

I don't need anything to make me stop writing. Some people start writing for a reason, that's why, when the reason is not the reason for keeping it up anymore, they stop.

For instance, if my life must be really boring so I write, the one day, if my life is not boring anymore, I will join the blog for sale group.

Just admit it, people are too selfish to start something spontaneously or without a purpose, you do this for a purpose, you hate that for a purpose. Its just depends whether you are smart enough to know the real intention of your action.

Too bad, dumb people are everywhere, so they prefer assuming.

Over the phone

2009-03-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

"Do you think I make your life better or worse?"

"Of course better , and how can you think of otherwise?"

That can be a good reason to stay positive for another day.

We all want to make good impact in others life, and we need to know we are making good impact in others life.

Then we can keep doing it.

In this case is simple, I just have to keep being myself and do not think otherwise.

Marriage

2009-03-16T03:01:00.000-07:00

I have this idea long ago, our current marriage system that apply in most society, is bullshit.

Once again, I prove that my point is correct and when I disbelieve in this system, I am actually going to live happily ever after.

Love is really the easiest part to be achieved in a marriage, the meaning of love is so vague and there's no rule in love, is like a piece of paper, you can draw anything on it to define love.

Marriage is a system, it has rules and it needs a lot of work, and I believe this system is created for political reason. And this system only apply to old generation when there's no so much freedom and room for people to discover other aspect in life. The political picture changes everyday, every era, why have not marriage system change? Because of religion? Because of culture? I don't understand.

As we all know, now you don't need to get married to have baby and no one will look at you like a freak. You don't need to be with opposite sex to find your happily ever after ending. You can be a single and happy forever. You can fly, you can see the world, you have your PSP, Ipod, internet, cellphone to keep you busy all the time. We have so much to do now, we need to work, we need to rest, we need entertainment, we need to travel, we need to catch up with the world and etc...But why we choose to compromise to another person and just stuck at one place forever? Why there's even this "rule" of couple should sleep on the same bed?

Why there's no flexibility under this system?

I believe you fall in love for no reason but you married for a reason. Whatever reason that is, it should be something that you believe in, not what the society ask you to do. You create your own rule, and is ok whatever rule you want to implement in your own "wedding system", as long as you don't kill and don't use any violent.

But right now, there's nothing much we can do to change the whole social system, but remember there's only 2 rules in marriage is fixed and must be followed. First you need to legally register, and second you need to legally divorce. All these are paperworks with the government. GOVERNMENT! So marriage is politic, it affects your tax pay and your vote during election.

You can't have the same definition for love and marriage, marriage is a system, is not about you and me, he and she, is about 2 families make contact and connection. Is about surviving on the earth by forming your own group, is about responsibility, is about getting stronger, is about complete your duty as a human being: to get laid without worrying getting STD or AIDS and to produce your next generation.

Of course, you can make this process whole lot of fun, that's depends on how you want to do it, how you want to make your new rules for it, no one is going to tell you what to do and what to expect. No couples in this world will have the exact same marriage, same issues or same consequences.

Marriage can't bond a person, it certainly can't bond a soul. When it has to come to an end, remember, the most important thing is to keep yourself survive, because you can always enter the system again and do it differently.

Weekend

2009-03-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

Weekend means,

My phone get to rest, no phone calls no text messages.

My email get to rest, no new email, no spams.

My facebook account get to rest, no new comments, no updates.

Is just me with me cross stitching.

Is there anything left for me?

2009-03-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

There's this piece of land that you need to find the other half in order to survive.

When there's no one there is available for me, or even a good companion in seeking, is there anything left for me? Does it mean anything if I go back?

Or I just don't belong from the beginning.

Cross Stitching

2009-03-13T01:58:00.000-07:00

I said I want to plan it well for this year, a hectic start lead to an unimaginable consequence that prevent me to go anywhere at this moment.

Good, so I switch to cross stitching.

To do this, you need to be tremendously focus, because first of all, you don't want to get hurt by the needle, second, you don't want to make any mistake because is hard to reverse the mistake.

Anything with needle and thread is a challenge for me because I have never been good at it. I got the lowest grade in my highschool sewing class, and is just too hard to make me sit still; even though my mom is so good, she made all my PJ last time when I was a kid, she even make some of the most incredible dress for me.

But surprisingly, the cross stitching thingy is going very well, is not addictive, but is fun. Is almost like meditating, and I think I get more from it then just trying to complete my 2 little cut sheeps. I get a peace of mind, I get rest, I get time for my eyes to stay away from any screen, I get to listen more around me, I get to sit still for a long time and don't feel depress about it.

I used to think, if one day I can sit still for a long time and do stitching, then I am qualified to be someone wife.

That actually make sense, because being someone else wife is a serious business, just like stitching. You can't make mistake because your responsible is not just you anymore, is the whole family. And is a tough job, is a job that need a lot of focus, is a job that need a determination of staying away from all the temptation.

And I never knew it make sense until I start stitching my 2 little sheeps.

So I guess I am ready to be someone wife whenever there's a good chance come by.

Maybe my friend is right, my bioclock is ticking, and is time for me to do settle down somewhere. Because I need to understand, settling down is helping me to go further and to achieve more in life.

I never know, so many events in life just happen natuarally.

Afterall, I don't have to plan my life well like I said at the beginning of the year, I just have to follow what life is giving me. I was too judgamental, I was too forceful, I was too anxious to create something or to change something or to make something happen in my way.

Because, I use to think if I want something happen, it will happen. I still believe in that, but I guess, I just don't believe this will work with people anymore. If this make sense, you get what you want, says, I want 1 million, I am sure I will get 1 million. But when it comes to people, they might want different thing, says, I want you to come here, but she want to go there. If the theory of you get what you want make sense, I should get her to comeh ere, and she should get me to go there. It doesn't work that way.

Between people, there's only negociation, agreement, and solution. You won't get what you want because the other person might want a different thing. You want to be with him, but he doesn't want to be with you, so tell me, how can these 2 persons happy and get what they really want at the end?

That's why cross stitching is good, because its pull you away from debating something like this, you just stitch and you create a new color, a new line and a new form. Is about creation, is about making things from scartch.

So I learn, creating is more meaningful than debating, debating is only for entertaining but creating is something that can sustain for a long time.

Dream

2009-03-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

Like a dream, just one click, you wake up and is gone.

Nothing matter to you

2009-03-03T22:50:00.000-08:00

Today I dreamed about saying that again.

Nothing matter to you.

And I realize, everything I do, I need to know it matters.

It matters to the person, to the earth, to myself.

But a lot of times, I do things that don't matter.

Don't matter to anyone or anything. I just do it.

Guess what? I didn't know they don't matter until I did it.

Now I know, forever and ever, they don't matter and they won't matter to anyone and anything.

Leave the darkside for the night

2009-02-25T01:43:00.000-08:00

Daylight mean to be brighten up everything on earth. Including your mood and emotion. You have approximately 12 hrs of daylight to be really happy.

That's why we sleep at night because that mean for us to bury our sorrow and not think about it. We sleep through a day and another, subconscious will help you deal with the problem you have and this is how brilliant our brain is.

I have learned to put a truly smiley face every morning, I do it so much it wasn't fake anymore, and this is actually work! You need to visualize thing, you need to just do what you think is right, is cool, is necessary. I want to be happy waking up everyday and that's what I am working on, no matter how sad I am, I want to be able to smile to the first person I see. On the progress of working on it, it becomes part of you.

My experience in Los Angeles, all those difficult moments, some fade away and some continue doing impact to my life today, I gotta learn to leave them for the night, nature will take care of it, the color of darkness will take care of it, most importantly, when I go to sleep, my dream will take care of it.

I realize my strenght of living through and not giving up can be tremendous, so now, I gotta learn how to use them correctly in other aspect of my life. I have learned that there's no forever good time in life and there's no forever bad time. And when good time comes, it can be bad, when bad time comes, it can be good.

How can life be absolute when it is not calculated in math?

And how come only until today I finally realize this is true and I can never get an absolute answer in life?

Yes, we are living in a gray area and life is just different from what I used to think anymore.

My hectic start for 2009

2009-02-22T18:57:00.000-08:00

The conclusion of my hectic trip schedule:

I am just glad that so many people love me and so many people let me love them with open arms.

Is fun again to celebrate CNY back home because of all these new born babies. Babies bring joy to all of us and there's non-stop laugher at every corner in my house. Everyone is so busy checking out the babies with smiles and a warm heart. It is a long lost feeling about being home again, is wonderful.

Meet up with good old friends also have a brand new meaning, is not just about catching up anymore, is more about sharing each other's life and succeed in every aspect in life. We all grown up, and we are at a very different stage in life now, but we still have each other, that's just amazing to have so much support in moving on to the next stage of life.

Snow is still good and addictive, but the question is, if I can be a better person for the snow and slope in near future? Is my first passion in sport, and it light up my life like nothing else. Everytime I close my eyes, I see the white out and the blue sky.

Now I am back to my normal routine, and trying to keep all the good memories in head and turn to the next chapter, is 2009 after all, a brand new year that will come only once in my life time.

I better plan it well.

These days

2009-02-02T11:25:00.001-08:00

I learned,

It is really not so bad to be not special, not unique, not genius.

It is so damn freaking hard to stop worrying about the future.

Religion is not part of the life to many, but it is what lead a life to many.

It is hard to resign from job.

It is not so bad when you are not alone when you are suppose to.

I can possibly live like that for a long time.

Riding motorbike is closer to nature.

My ultimate worried is something that I always thought it is the last thing I will worry on my list.

Change.

Facebook

2009-01-11T16:57:00.000-08:00

Facebook is a great tool for connecting people. Right now the application on it really helps me kill my time at work and improve my geographic knowledge. I specially impressed by the tagging photo function so you don't need to send invitation to your friends via your photo album link anymore. Also, you don't have to worry about forgetting your camera for an important event, as long as someone has a camera and has a facebook account, you will sure be TAGGED.

But, it is also very difficult to get rid of someone from Facebook, if you tried to get rid of someone. You can't just delete him/her because if the person you want to get rid of know one of your friend in your Facebook, chances are he/she will be tagged someday on a picture and you will see them right in front of your screen. Or the "wall" function, you will see the conversation between the person with your friend. The worst thing about this "wall" function is you will not see the whole conversation, so your mind will start guessing and automatically fill in the blank about the missing part.

In other words, you might not see what you want and what you like one Facebook because of this impressive tagging function on FB.

And the hardest part is giving up this great tool of connecting with all your friends so that you can make sure your day goes well without some shitty person show up on your monitor. The easy to use and always up to date information from your friends all around the globe has proved to be very useful. Like now I know exactly when someone get married because there will be a "status update", "event invitation" plus the pictures.

You can also see where you friends travel and what they eat, that definitely help you plan better for your trip and know who exactly to get advice about a specific destination. We also save a lot of cellphone minutes by dropping short messeages to each other, make it easier to invite someone for a special occasion, chances to impress the person you secretly like has increased, build fun and stronger relationship with your family members and so on....

In conclusion, FB is a fantastic tool and it has more pros than cons. So I guess the only way for you to get rid of someone from FB is to get rid of them from your head. Is a long process to forget someone, it might take your entire life to do so, you can't forget by clicking the "delete" buttons.

Is in your head, the zombie is in your head, you just gotta deal with it.

Chances

2009-01-06T21:30:00.000-08:00

It took me a long way to stop giving people second chance; it took me an even longer way to try giving people second chance.

When you have too much going on in your life, you almost want to be certain one shot is enough for a person, we don't have time to waste for a second shot. And with so many people on earth, why is it so hard to make the one shot right? It shouldn't be.

That's how I use to think, so I stop giving people second chance because is waste of my time.

Then now I learned, you can at least give a person 3 chances to make the same mistake in order to judge someone whether they are idiots or not.

So 3 is the number, and I apply this method in everything in order to make myself not so judgmental and make people think I am a "nicer" person. In order words, "less jerk".

But still, 3 chances are not enough, I have canceled so many people from my list and found no different of giving them 3 chances or 1 chance.

I realize I have less friends but more activity partners now than before, I type more and talk less, I am more judgmental than ever.

I start questioning myself if is giving human beings as many chances as possible until they show you their best is really truth? Will someone really show you their best if you being as generous as possible even though the person has no "best" to show?

I have seen too many people, different culture different race, different countries and different sex, I realize some people just have nothing to show to me at all no matter how hard I tried to hold on to them, how hard I tried to tell them what I want, and how generous I am to spend my time waiting for something happen.

Something usually happen but is always expected, they just don't change, and they walk away from my life voluntarily or involuntarily.

Just how much chances we should spare for someone? I am a robotic rational being trying to have a real heart like everybody else, but I still find it better to keep a heart of steel and be as cold as I can.

Hong Kong

2009-01-04T16:53:00.001-08:00

I have been to Hongkong for about 20 times.

This is the first time I went there for travel. A 3 days trip is just nice for this little city. Due to the expensive cost of hotel there, me and my friend decided to join a cheap tour that included so much and charge so little. We will know the reason why the trip can be so cheap later on.

1/1/2009 I decided to start my new year by travelling, good start. But I didn't expect so many people had the same thought like me. Travelling with mainland China people is not my first time, seeing them travel is not my first time too, but each time I was amazed by just how many people in this land, 1.3 billion people, this land hold 1.3 billion people and all you have to do is having 1% of them spend 100 dollar at your shop and you don't have anything to worry for 10 generation.

Each day, China tourists bring millions of cash to Hong Kong, and is good to see some improvement about how they carried themselve ourside of mainland China. They are not just gaining respect by spending a lot of money there, but also people pick up slowly and adapt slowly to a different world.

The reason I join this trip is first, cheap, second they have a whole day free activities we can just do whatever we want to do, third, they got us hotel room at high peak season! I always know you don't expect good food by joining tour, but I didn't expect it can be so bad.

The local food wasn't fantastic either, is just like one of those HongKong cafe that I rarely go in Los Angeles. That's why HK people are all skinny I guess, too much walking and too little good food.

I went to the famous Ocean Park, I knew this place since I started watching HK drama and finally I am here to experience it myself. The place is pretty old already, but there's still some good part of it you don't want to miss. The pandas and the gondola ride. Is always good to see panda and Ocean Park has 4 very active pandas, they don't just sit there and eat all the time, they actually walk around and entertain people.

The gondola is tiny and has a nice view of South China Sea, nice breeze and fresh air on the mountain, I like the fact that you can actually open the windows so you can get a better view, don't have to see it through the window. Then I lined up for roller coaster, try to pretend I don't have a phobia about it. Surprisingly, I really don't have a phobia about it, maybe it was just a small ride with 2 turns of 360 degree spin, or maybe skiing has train me to enjoy speed more.

We stopped by some spots along the trip, the beach, where I found my favorite Cheetos Puff at the 7-11 there. The Hong Kong Beverly Hills, where inspire me not to be a rich in HK because you won't have big house eventhough you are Jacky Chan. The night view from the highest mountain in HK island, which remind me of how much better the night view in Chicago compare to this. The cruise ride along Victoria Bay, which make me think of the Xmas light at Union Square in San Francisco.

The hotel is tiny, but bigger than the one that I lived last time I stayed in HK. One jump from the door you will reach the bed, but it was clean and comfy and I got the bay view from my room, what more do you expect? A cheap hotel in HongKong cost you abot HKD500, I will spend 2 nights at this hotel, and my whole trip including 5 meals, cruise ride ticket and Ocean Park admission only cost me HKD 900.

The next day I went to the famous Wong Dai Xin temple and got out with ashes everywhere on me. I am not fancy about temple usually and the architecture of it is not interesting at all, so I spent sometimes reading stuff about those anti-communism group outside the temple. These Fat Lun Gong people camp at every spot that the China tourists visit. I don't have any comment about it but I guess eventually they will become one of the must see in HK.

Then that's the part that why my trip is so cheap, 5 hrs of shopping at these jewelry and watch stores, then the DFS. Our tourguide and driver will get commision for every bucks you spent at these palces. Every single person in my bus bought something, except me and my friend. There's really nothing to buy except branded stuff like Rolex, Omega, LV, Gucci... is year end sales and I must say, the tax free in HK really make a different for these expensive brand pricing, try go there at the end of the year or at the end of the summer, you might find some really good deal like a medium size Gucci purse only HKD3000, a big Tod's bag only HKD 6000 plus, Bally last season purse HKD4000 plus, but avoid US brands, they still cheaper in US.

Finaly come to my night life experience in HK, which is also a disappointment. First of all, the subway stop running at 12am and they don't have any 24hrs transportation besides taxi. Taxi is not cheap, but you don't have other choices. Bars close at 1am some later at Lam Kwai Fong, Karaoke close at 5:30am. Subway will run again at 6am. A pro will be the freedom of drinking on the street.

To sum it up, there's nothing to shop besides branded stuff, but if you never shop in China before, HK can be a shopping paradise, is relatively cheaper compare to Malaysia and has a lot of independet fashion stores. But those fashion accessories or clothes are all come from Guangdong China. A sweater cost about RMB30 bucks will be sold in HK for 100 or more. Try to rent an apartment in HK for your staying if possible, to live in a tiny place might be quite an experience. Check out night view of the city along the bay, can skip the mountain view and cruise. Join a tour eventhough their food sucks, but it save you a lot of money at hotels and transportation, but make sure your tour allow you to go back on your own and have days for free activities so it will be more flexible.

For couples out there, I didn't find HK romantic, because this place is too small for too many people and tourist.

So far HK is ok for me, but I guess I will just go there for business trip like I always do again.

Customer Service MY ASS

2008-12-30T18:47:00.000-08:00

So I called Verizon because I want to pay my outstanding bill...

For the past 3 weeks, I have been trying to call them because they don't have a 24 hrs customer service line make it really difficult while I am in a different time zone.

When I finally get through them after a long time of hearing the machine talking and talking, I finally talked to a human being. Then as usual, he transferred me to their billing or whatever department that can take care of my problem.

After the transferred me, and I gave all my information again, the person said they don't take care of business account only residencial, and they transferred me again.

The it was another section of machine talking...then:

"May I have your first and last name?"

"May I have the 10 digits number that you care calling about?"

"May I know which states are you in?"

"Sorry, we don't take care of California number, here is Pennsylvania."

You shouldn't even ask the last question when you get my area code......

Fine..after 3 transferred, I was still at no where to pay my bill.

Call again another day, same thing...

Call again another day, same thing...

Call again another day, I started yelling at the customer service and sent a nasty email to them about me will never pay my bill because they had been wasting my time and international calling money. And their customer service is sooooo screwed!!

And now, I am labeled as racist insane unprofessional caller after they wasted so much of my time and money just because I want to PAY what they deserved.

I don't know what's wrong with this world, and I am sure understand why the US is deeply affect by the recession now and how the US still so far behind in so many things can still consider themselves as developed country and proud about their service culture.

I booked a 3 days trip to Hong Kong the other day for USD 100 at the office, and they guy sent my booking details and bus ticket directly to the front door of my factory without tips and additional charges. I was only 20 steps by feet away from completing a transation.

Now THAT IS WHAT WE CALL SERVICE!

New year resolution

2008-12-28T00:11:00.000-08:00

I have never done any new year resolution in my entire life.

But this year, I think I am going to make one because my life since to have more direction in this coming year...despite the economy recession, I am very looking forward for a brand new year!

I think the biggest thing for me next year is either buying a house in JB or start my business, probably with the help of my boss because he will never want me to leave him, aiks.

But it doesn't matter, I literally have no work to do everyday, so I have plenty of time to plan and generate ideas.

Next, my second resolution will be staying fit. I was so disappointing about myself that I can't complete any trail one shot in Mammoth on the first day of season...So routine exercise, meditation, skipping rope and yoga...I have to be really determine this time!

Third, I want to ski in another country in 2009, maybe 2009/2010 season? Target is China and Japan.

Fourth, cut down my shopping for clothes and shoes.

Fifth, read more books and news. Even though I pick up reading again this year but is not enough.

I guess that's good enough, now going back to pack for my trips.

Hongkong next week, home next next week, Singapore next next next week, Jakarta next next next next week, HEAVEN next next next next next week!

Dream a little dream

2008-12-21T22:40:00.000-08:00

I start having strange dreams...

I dream that I was skiing on ground, on the top of a hill in Hong Kong, exactly the same hill I saw on a movie yesterday. With a good view of the city, long grass field across the hill, on a bright sunny day.

I was in T-shirt and shorts, wearing my ski and boots, riding down the rocky road in full speed without my poles.

I could feel the bumpiness, I can feel every single rock that scratches the bottom of my ski. Then I put on my helmet on the run (just in case some cars hit me), and here come a small hill, and I just jump off the hill with perfect landing on the grass.

This is insane and I think I am going crazy. I thought I can forget about the white powder after coming back to China. You got it, the white powder, like heroin.

I found myself wondering on the street on a Sunday afternoon, nothing at all interest me, the crowd, the yelling, the loud music from the store, the stalls that along the street with antique stuff, the fancy dress and sweater and this and that... until I saw a kick ass beanie.

How can I find excitement again when there's no snow? I think what's killing me now is knowing there's snow somewhere and knowing there's way to get there, be there and start riding.

I check my bank account and there's plentiful to spend...

Skiing is like my secret lover, so seductive and irresistible. I would really want to say my favorite quote to it everytime I put it on: " I wish I knew how to quit you!" But the addiction is hard to quit, because it makes me smile eventhough is just in my mind.

It is not easy to go to any ski resort here in China, and I don't count on meeting quality rider to go with me, it will be all by myself.

Maybe I can spend all these time practice loneliness and keep my training schedule, a lot of running, push up, yoga, make sure I am fit for the slope.

When I am fit and no fear of being lonely, I guess I can start my on journey of seeking the white powder.

(PS: I don't really know how to ride on powder yet, but I have an image about it... I guess when I get a hang on it, I will never ride on powder, I will be floating on it.)

Babies boom

2008-12-19T06:25:00.000-08:00

So this year, there are 6 new born babies in my family.

Which is ridiculously a lot.

Plus my lovely nephew last year. There are 7 young babies in the Wong family.

Plus some babies from my friends...

The last time I check friendster, people are really busy getting married, lots of wedding picture.

The most recent time I check friendster..

I see babies.

I told my mom I want one too after seeing my sis and my bro have their own.

I suddenly get the rebellion feeling of being the youngest again. Whatever your bro and sis have, you want one as well.

But I do want a baby and I think my parents can't really disagree about that because their life is absolutely perfect by now. Anything that I will have is a bonus to them, they got a grandson and grand-daughter, anything additional to that they should feel very bless indeed.

But my mom gave me to cool look, she was like who you gonna have a baby with? A stranger?

Why not? All I want is just a baby...

So I have something to think about before I go to bed.

I have something to look forward to after I wake up.

I will look younger.

I will be happier.

I will start looking further than tomorrow.

I will be so different.

Anyway, is time to bed and start thinking what to think about before I close my eyes tonight.

Conclusion: I am a jerk

2008-12-18T03:05:00.000-08:00

So today I did a video chat with my friends in OC, I have not done any video chat with a friend for a long time, the only time I do video chat is to see my lovely nephew and niece.

Then I make a statement that being single should have the most fun, which is a philosophy that I always believe in, but my friend thought that being single will make you more selfish.

Is a world about you, not anybody else anymore.

But what's wrong with loving yourself more?

You become more picky, and end up single forever become very likely.

Possible.

And he said I should ask someone what they think about me.

And I did.

Then now I am sitting in front of my computer feeling uneasy.

I don't remember when was the last time I ask someone what do they think about me. Not how do I look tonight, how's my dress?

So it turns out, I am a jerk after all, just like anybody else.

Maybe being by myself all these time really got into me, but I am still out there, not completely defensive about everything, not yet.

But for the first time in my life, I am in good shape when I am on my own.

Everybody grow up, eventually. People can't be energetic all the time, especially when they get older.

So I can't have someone to grow together with me and still keep up with my living style and pace.

I don't get tired, and I always want more than what someone can offer. I want to be still spontaneous and I want to take control over things. Is getting harder to do so when people around you are moving to another level. When people spend most of their time compromising.

Or I am moving to another level, they just stay on the same place?

Ok, I don't even know what am I writing about anymore but I think, in conclusion, I am a jerk in many ways.

And I never thought of that, that's amazing.

Leaving Los Angeles

2008-12-12T20:30:00.001-08:00

I know I will come back again.

But it is good to pack everything and feel like you might never come back to a place that you can consider your other home.

After all these crazy days of packing, moving a lot, I mean GODDAMN A LOT OF BOXES, catching up with friends, meeting up with important clients... I just suddenly realize my 7 years of moving experience is still not enough. And I just found out I have never move out completely from a place before, there's always someone stay behind, because I always have a roommate and I am always the one the leave first (because I leave from place to place oh so very often)

This trip back to LA feel like a vacation trip, didn't do anything serious really. Mostly fun stuff. Going through some tough time as usual, a lot more of self-discovery, and a lot more confusion has been created in just 5 weeks.

I don't know is it because of me or because of Los Angeles or something else, I am always someone that not particular myself whenever I come back to LA. I still haven't figure out what goes wrong but I have come to a point that I don't hate LA that much anymore and I don't really mind that I have to come back again and live here.

But, I will want to live it differently. I need a good plan.

I am in LA on and off for about 2 years, it gave me 1 good year in 2007, but 2008 was almost the worst period in my life. So is 50/50, if I have a chance to stay longer, I would want a lot more than just 1 good year.

I am just a person tryng hard to live a life and take different opportunity, and I am very disappointed with my performance living in LA. I blame the place a lot but now I think I should move on from pointing figure and really take the challenge on how to live my LA life all over again and make the full out of it?

If chance is given, what would I do and what would I not do?

What will I keep and what will I leave behind?

That's a lot to think about and chances are, I might have to come back and give LA another shot.

But if I have an option to choose if I want to come back to LA or not, I probably won't pick LA anymore.

If I have a chance to come back to the land of freedom again to live one more time...

God please, send me to New York City!!!!

I am a cat, I have 9 lives

2008-12-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

After a roller-coaster long night, I woke up with swollen eyes.

And I realize I really look like a cat instead of a panda.

Which is a good thing, because I still don't know why panda exist when it is not even a part of the food chain. It exists for only exotic reason and I wonder why the Chinese make it symbol of the country...(and now you know why the history of 5000 plus years left nothing good but bad habbits)

But cat is different, cat has 9 lives.

It has the strenght to survive and they don't need anyone to protect them.

And they never feel sorry for the mess they did, cat is the ultimate most selfish animals on earth and there's only "me" in their world.

So I want to be like cat, I want to have 9 lives, and I want to learn how not to feel ashame about me doing something wrong.

How to become more selfish and how not to say sorry anymore.

Survive another day

2008-12-07T15:42:00.001-08:00

It only happens in movies... when a person pass out, they woke up in a hospital or in the arms of their love one.

In reality, you woke up and you are alone.

Is hard for some people to imagine the feeling of no one but yourself is within reach.

Is hard to imagine a situation like that when you wake up every morning, there's someone sleep next to you.

That's why people sleep together after they got married, is just a nature of having a certain level of protection.

Because you will never know what happen while you are sleeping.

Is amazing to think about we spend half of our life at the moment that we have no control over- sleeping. You can't really control your heart beat, your breathing, your dream... you have absolutely no control over anything. You just let your biological machine to do all the work and keep you alive.

And even believe in God doesn't rescue you when somethig happen to you while you are sleeping.

But there's one thing you can rely on which is your brain, your brain will never want you to die and you can absolutely count on it. I can't really count on my heart like most people, but I guess my brain will do an even better job on things to keep me alive everyday. Something to do with my major I guess, the power of your mind is no mystery for me anymore. I use it all the time, and it works everytime I use it right.

I tell my brain I want to be able to open my eyes and look at the beautiful world every night before I go to bed.

And my wish is always granted.

Taking pictures

2008-12-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, I just lost interest in taking pictures.

I still smile though.

Blame the facebook, because you know you don't have to be the one that taking picture to own the pic.

You will be tagged anyway.

Simple

2008-12-02T09:51:00.001-08:00

I guess a good way to overcome a bad mood day is to look back how you used to be happy.

I love to look at old pictures whenever I feel really down, those pictures always make me smile or laugh.

It also reminds me, things can be really simple, life can be really simple, to be happy again can be really simple.

Then I go to bed, sleepy through a bad mood day.

Tomorrow, when I open my eyes, it will be brand new day full of possibility.

Where to start...

2008-11-18T19:05:00.000-08:00

Today, I got back from Dallas, from Heaven!

LA is burning like Hell, I can't imagine how is it like last weekend, I was just glad I made the perfect getaway.

Anyhow, the person that save my life told me I gotta at least make my house clean.

A comfortable living sure lead to a healthier living.

But my house is in a giant mess right now I don't even know where to start to make it look better.

I thought about bringing in new roommate, provides free room in exchange of room service.

And someone seriously thought I am serious, I mean seriously...

My priviate space in exchange of room service?

Actually that doesn't sounds like a bad deal, and I will need good company once in a while, drink beer or wine, chill and talk, play Katamari together...something like that.

We all get lonely sometimes, especially in Los Angeles when you usually don't see anybody if you have a job like my job.

But is not easy to have good roommate, and is not easy to meet people that click your life style.

This is my first time living by myself, I am ok with it, but I think I prefer roommates, at least I don't feel like so isolated sometimes.

Maybe it is not a bad idea after all eventhough it starts out completely like making fun of myself kinda joke.

But how long I will be in Los Angeles?

I don't know.

Today, I am the happiest person!

2008-11-12T17:33:00.000-08:00

Coming back to LA already 10 days, still not get used to the life here, espcially the driving part, also, the fact that you can't get any shit done most of the time when all your time is wasted in your car.

And the broken dishwasher really ruin my day.

After a long long day, I finally got home in one piece, looked at all the crap in my car that I had no time to clean up, I just roll my eyes and carried all my stuffs head back home.

When I look up to my apartment, I saw a loooong package sitting in front of my room, then I was like "OMG OMG OMG~~~"

I can totally feel my tears in my eyes, I ran up to the stairs with 3 gallons of water, picked up the package, opened my door and started going crazy.

That's the ski that I ordered last week.

It brough me so much joy even it was still sitting in the box. I looked at the box for 10 minutes with smile on my face, look like a complete idiot. Called a few important persons that cares about how I feel or at least understand how I feel and spread the great news, then I started cutting the cardbox and finally took them out.

It is very very shinny pink color, I was surprised, it looked like dark red in the picture when I order it.

I threw in my outfit for this season with the ski and standing there for a few more minutes....

*wink*

I think I will look great! =)

Good Person, Bad Person

2008-11-06T15:15:00.000-08:00

My friend said I am born to be a good person, because when I have any bad thoughts or bad intention, my body will react negatively and sometimes, trying to kill me.

Maybe she is right, after all, she is a lawyer, I will assume she has good reasoning. And I know because of that, I can never be a lawyer, no bad thoughts? Then how can I be a good lawyer?

But there are tons of reason for a good person to become a bad person. I think the main reason is usually the good person realize it is stupid to be so nice, they end up losing everything just to be nice and considerate. The world is full of selfishness and greed, it is contaminated, it is poisoning and it is unavoidable.

Can I really sue someone because they are being selfish ? Will judge rule in my favorite? Will judge sentence these people and ask them to return my dignity and pride?

I have problem to deal with selfishness, I try to gain my justice back by fighting really hard, by playing dirty, by being a bad person...

Then my heart try to kill me for another day, and I learn, there's no justice in this world afterall.

But today, the judge rules in my favorite, then I realize, because I won the case, now I have so many shit to deal with...

Sense of figure

2008-11-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

My boss used to tell me that, how much money you can hold in your life, that's how much you can earn. If you can hold 1 million dollars, eventhough you earn 2 milllons dollars, you will definately lose half of it.

And how much you can earn define by how much you can spend.

Spending=Earning

That's why stingy people will never become rich. Because when you are nagging about spending 1 dollar extra on your lunch, your sense of money figure is only that 1 dollar.

It is kinda vague I know...but until you experience it, you will increase your money figure sense greatly.

I used to be a stingy bustard myself, never buy stuff before sales, spend hours and hours searching a better deal online, driving in circle to find a free parking spot, line up for hours to get something cheap or free...

Until one day, I have to spend somuch in one shot, my life changed.

So now spending on anything less than what I paid for that single event is not so much anymore. And I wouldn't mind to have something more challenging than this figure, because money doesn't buy you the truth of life but it certainly does help you realize evil and good.

Time, happiness, health, family and good friends are the source of earning money, there's no measurement to calculate just how much these things worth because you don't know what kind of opportunity they will push you to or help you to get in your life time. We all say that everyday, but how many of us truly understand just how much these things worth to make you a better person.

Without them, you will never earn a penny in your life. Even you earn a penny, that's totally meaningless.

I guess the truth behind being generous is really bringing more wealth to you. Maybe next time you should think about paying 10 dollar for that parking lot , because you never know the 10 mins time that you gain will open up what kind of opportunity in life.

For me, this is just a good reasoning for spending big on my ski trip, muahaha~~

First gear

2008-11-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

I bought my gears for skiing.

Ski- checked

Bindings-checked

Ski boots- checked

Ski bag (for air travel)- checked

Ski poles-

Jacket- checked

Pants- checked

Beanies- checked

Skullcandy- checked

Ski guide- checked

Camelpak- checked

Goggle- checked

Sunscreen- checked

Ski Mask-

Ski socks- checked

Music-

bla bla bla-

Ok, I am surprise there's still a few more things to check!

But most important of all, my spirit CHECKED!

I am not at all a good skier, but I believe, spirit made up half of my skills.

3 months later

2008-11-03T07:40:00.000-08:00

I left LA for 3 months, now I am back.

Nothing move in my apartment at all, everything sit still at the same position before I left. Good news.

If you never leave your house for this long, you are a lucky one. So you don't have to see what I saw and smell when I first entered my house yesterday. Is good to have roommates, at least to keep your space alive.

My apartment was completely dead, covered in dust, some stuff brokens, growing mole, bugs... I am gald I stored most of the thing properly in my closet, but some of the unfortune one will be tossed away.

I realize just simply living in will keep my apartment alive.

How strange?

I never really clean up when I live here, but somehow, I can feel everything is breathing.

Now I get the same feeling back slowly...and slowly breath in the city.

Start from Burton store today.

My shoes

2008-10-30T04:41:00.000-07:00

I miss my shoes the most. Even I got new shoes in China, I miss every single pair of shoes sitting in my shoesrack sright now in Los Angeles. I count them each day and I was upset when I realize I can't remember all of them.

I miss all my party high heels, my hiking snow shoes, my killer boots, my comfy flipflop... I miss the feeling of putting them on because I am always ready to go, ready to move, ready to dance.

But what I miss the most is that pair of boots that I might never own.

The feeling of putting my ski boots on is the best, because when I am done, I am ready to ride in my favorite weather.

I was sad to miss out Radiohead concert, I was sad to miss out some good friends' birthday, but I am despair to realize my season will soon over after it just about to start.

On the other hand, I am more than ready to take life seriously, I might have to give up skiing one day, but what I will not give up is living with the same passion that I have for skiing.

Eventually, I will put my shoes on and leave the land of freedom for something new.

I just don't understand, why I always get chances to move away from my present.

"I am just a person from the present" quote by myself. But today I realize, it is too difficult to stay at the present.

I am good to go!

After China banned my blog

2008-10-30T02:17:00.000-07:00

For no reason, I mean, I can't remember if I have written anything offensive in my blog before. Now I can't access to my friendster's blog anymore.

My thought and emotion need a new home. I guess it happens just on time that I can start fresh completely.

Since 2007 Memorial Day until now, I started with deleting some of the oldest memories to get myself ready for a new chapter in life.

If can see you again, I will never love you more and more.

I think, if you can't get over with the oldest stuff, there's no room for you to forget the newer memories.

We all try to forget things intentionally everyday. It won't work until you been through enough pain like me.

I had have enough pain, and this is just a tiny part of my life, a tiny obstacle that took my entire life of efforts to pass through it. My entire life, only 26 years.

So is good, China always treated me very well, because my blog is banned, I don't have to look back anymore.