Chances

It took me a long way to stop giving people second chance; it took me an even longer way to try giving people second chance.

When you have too much going on in your life, you almost want to be certain one shot is enough for a person, we don't have time to waste for a second shot. And with so many people on earth, why is it so hard to make the one shot right? It shouldn't be.

That's how I use to think, so I stop giving people second chance because is waste of my time.

Then now I learned, you can at least give a person 3 chances to make the same mistake in order to judge someone whether they are idiots or not.

So 3 is the number, and I apply this method in everything in order to make myself not so judgmental and make people think I am a "nicer" person. In order words, "less jerk".

But still, 3 chances are not enough, I have canceled so many people from my list and found no different of giving them 3 chances or 1 chance.

I realize I have less friends but more activity partners now than before, I type more and talk less, I am more judgmental than ever.

I start questioning myself if is giving human beings as many chances as possible until they show you their best is really truth? Will someone really show you their best if you being as generous as possible even though the person has no "best" to show?

I have seen too many people, different culture different race, different countries and different sex, I realize some people just have nothing to show to me at all no matter how hard I tried to hold on to them, how hard I tried to tell them what I want, and how generous I am to spend my time waiting for something happen.

Something usually happen but is always expected, they just don't change, and they walk away from my life voluntarily or involuntarily.

Just how much chances we should spare for someone? I am a robotic rational being trying to have a real heart like everybody else, but I still find it better to keep a heart of steel and be as cold as I can.