Borderless Browsing right!

I just hate the fact that China banned this and that....

I really prefer to use blogspot over spacelives, we will see how long I can use this agent to free myself from borders browsing controlling.

Hurt

No one will hurt somebody forever. No one will and no one should.

But when this is actually happening, the same person hurting you again and again the same way, is probably a good time to think about yourself.

The cause maybe is you, not that somebody else.

Is easy to say forgive and forget, but when it comes to someone that has been hurting you the same way again and again, watch out the battered syndrome.

Because we all thought, we have control in a bad situation, we all thought the world is spinning around us, we all thought we can change thing to the way we want.

I can't stand the centrism,but I can't deny that is true. Because most of us forget, to get what you want, you don't get it, you don't go after it, you have to attract it.

Hurt won't go away if you continue to attract them come to you. You need to cut that line of attraction.

And again, is always easy to say.

Congratulation

Congrats to myself.

Finally, someone will hate me for the rest of their life.

Good job indeed, good job!!

A Little Piece of Land

许多人花一辈子往外飞,而幸运的我很早就有这个机会,真的很感激所有的神,虽然我从来都不曾相信过你们.

从以前计划着明天做什么,周末做什么,下周末做什么,到月底做什么,年底做什么3年后做什么.

一直到现在,10年后我要看到怎样的自己,10年内我可以做什么.

也许人真的在有长远计划之后才真正长大,才能开始对社会做出贡献.

外面的世界太大,我努力飞了那么久,自己还是那么渺小.

所以我要花3年的时间把自己捆绑在一片小小的土地,用我自己累积的小小大世界经验,小小积蓄,小小心愿,在这一片小小的土地创造出大大的价值.

期待自己另一次的蜕变,很快了!

Determination

Is hard to keep your determination. But a constant reminder of all the sadness and tears should help to keep your eyes look forward.

Don't look back, look forward.

A few big plan for the next 12 months, exciting.

My new life, shall it begin now?

If

I told myself,

if I see you today I am going to tell you I miss you.

But I didn't see you.

So I just tell that to myself.

3 times.

My secret trip

Starting tomorrow.

Now we are entering the serious flu season.

I don't like virus, but I will still have to go on with my secret trip. For secret service and a big secret mission that need to be accomplished.

The last thing on my list will be wearing a mask.

Should I?

My hair dresser

Last night I dream about my hair dresser. The only hair dresser I will use in China.

Well, I probably have less than 5 hair dressers cut my hair for my entire life. That's very few because I always have short hair so I will need a hair cut every 3 months.

I remember the first time I found this awesome hair dresser in China, I have tears in my eyes.

It is just like you finally meet your soul mate that you have been seeking for a long long time, and you will not allow anyone else to touch your hair ever.

But anyway, I saw a sign in my dream.

Is time for a new hair do!

After all

We can't be alone.

My friend in Peru volunteering told me this kid that she was taking care of call Mira. (Because the only word he can say is Mira Mira) He was locked up by his parents for 5 years so he couldn't speak. This kid is more aggressive than the rest and he even bite or hit people around him when he is in a bad mood.

5 years being locked up with no interaction with anyone. There's no need of physical torture to shape a person forever, you just need to make them really really lonely.

So if you are telling me now you are great in handling loneliness, try being lock up for 5 years. That's how you define loneliness.

You can talk again, cause there's people around you would love to listen.

Studio photo shot

Guy, I mean man, male, should never go to studio and have your posing picture taken unless under these circumstances:

1) Your wedding photo shot
2) You are on some important magazines cover (means, you are successful and famous)
3) Commercial or promotion used
4) Your graduation
5) Family photo shot
6) You are an actor or star, got no choice but is your job to have photo taken in a studio.

If is not any of the reason above, please stay away from studio photo shot. Because it will not get you anywhere but trouble. Please only take normal picture like a normal person, we don't need to know how high your self-awareness is till you need to go to the studio and take some "manly posing" pictures.

The trance of man become more and more feminine is getting serious.

Somebody gotta do something about it.

Because ...

MAN COME TO THIS WORLD TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING GREATER THAN TAKING A FANCY PHOTO.

Now you hear me.

Another story about what I like to deny

I know PMS exist.

But, the existence of PMS depends on the happiness level in your life.

If there's absolutely nothing to pick on regarding your life, your relationship, your job, the people around you. There's no way PMS can survive.

People get frustrated about something, people have so much hate...jealousy, greed, prejudice...

Your happiness is caused by someone sadness, your sadness is to protect someone else happiness.

This is never a fair world and never will be.

Even though I still believe, a story about the earth creation. When earth was a new born planet long long time ago, everything is fair, and there's no PMS. And there's no god because we don't need one.

Because we don't need excuses when everything is fair.

When you wish me fine

That's the greatest gift of all time.

But please don't regret, because I will be fine.

And you will be fine too.

Many years ago, we were still a piece of white paper.

LOVE

The first true love for me, is the moment I am touched by the white snow.

Is magical. I have finally fall in love with something that is not human.

While seeking love within the human circle can be so defeated and uninteresting, I have been trying really hard to seek outside the human race.

Not pet, I will die when they die.

Not plant, they will die when I die.

Not books, when I don't give them attention, they start collecting dust.

But snow, if I die, they will keep falling from the sky.

If I can't give them attention, they will still keep falling from the sky, when the season comes.

Then I realize, LOVE should be something that will keep on moving regardless. Nothing can change it, nothing can make it stop, just like snow.

"It's always snowing somewhere".

For men

Talk to me when you start growing wrinkles around your eyes.

You might not see enough but at least you start looking.

Lies

05. LIES

http://www.thesixtyone.com/trifonic/songs/popular/1/#/trifonic/song/Lies/27338/

Written and programmed by Trifonic / Lyrics by Laurence Trifon
Mixed by Trifonic and John Rodd
Vocals - Amelia June
Guitars - Brian Trifon

Lyrics:
When you walked away it was the
Saddest day the world has known
Shattered my heart and left me in
Pieces of a broken home
Now you say you need me
Standing at the door
Asking if you can come in
And I can’t say no, I can’t say no

You and I just can’t say goodbye
Every time we do, well
It’s just another lie
I know you’re no good for me, but
Every time I’m with you there’s
Nowhere I’d rather be

We’ve been to hell, been burnt by the
Flames of a pain so deep that
Even the strongest god in the heavens would
Kneel and weep
But here I lie
Pressed against your skin
Right where I want to be
You’re the sweetest sin

Enlightenment

I went to one of the most famous sightseeing spot in WuXi (无锡), Buddha of Lin Shan Mountain. (灵山大佛)

I don't have a religion myself, and I never thought of having one, but I am constantly seeking for a peace of mind without the religion help.

Being there, I didn't do any worship activity, I just simply make myself fully engaged with the natural environment on the mountain.

The atmosphere there is great, just like the name of it- Lin Shan (Mountain of Spirit). The whole mountain is covered by spring fresh green tea (碧螺春） and blossom flowers. The big Buddha standing in the middle, facing the famous Tai Hu (second largest lake in China).

There's not a lot of people, not many cars, not many noise. I am covered by the fresh mountain air with the bliss of spring.

I found a peace of mind, right there, at that moment.

I am not sure if this will be called as "enlightenment", it is just a state that my mind is blank.

My mind is blank, I am not thinking about anything but I am alive.

Then slowly, I have this vision, is a great plain field surrounded by mountain, the opening is to the sky and the ocean, is bright and warm.

Suddenly I accepted the fundamental true of life: when there's nobody there for you, nature will take care of you. Loneliness is just a state to achieve something more, you will reach a stage that normal people won't, if you never experience the ultimate loneliness.

I really don't need anybody right now. I am just glad that I am standing here and breathing, what more do I want?

And I start thinking about the reason that my boss strongly discourage me to visit Tibet, because I might really end up staying there and never come back.

Because, without my notice, I have grown up from those hurts and pains, I have absorb the ugliest side of the world and dissolved them.

Special day

Is special, but there's no picture allowed to be taken.

There are good memories and bad memories, and if I am able to snap a shot of those good one, it will be very nice. If I am able to snap a shot of those bad one, it will be very nice too.

We all want to remember, the good times and the bad times, good times for the fun of it, bad times for us to remember how good it is at the present.

But we can't snap a shot, because it is not allowed.

No matter how special the day is, we can only use our eyes as the camera lens, our brain as the SD memory card.

Sometimes, even looking at this very special day is a luxury wish that cannot be achieved. When you try to be close in a space full of distance, very long distance, there's no way to snap a shot, through a camera or eye.

There's only imagination can be used to determine, if this special day can be a good memory or a bad memory.

Still today

Today is a long day.

I feel like I already lost it.

There' s nothing left besides emptiness.

I think I am right, when you are too afraid of losing something, you always end up hurting it.

And if you let it comes and goes, it stays with you as long as you let it comes and goes.

Our hands are not mean to hold on to something, our heart is not for bonding a soul.

I don't know what's wrong for being desperate, I don't know what's wrong for overly concern about something.

I guess you just can't do a good job when stress is high.

And is still today, I am looking excuses for my mistake and I am pretending that is OK to be blue.

Maybe, is OK to lost it all. So I can either start all over again or do something greater than this.

Is not because of PMS

Today I feel like I am losing one of the most important person in my life.

And I refuse to blame that on PMS.

I really think PMS doesn't exist, but my belief has not been very consistent.

I rather believe that I am just born to be very mean, and the words I will chose to use are the hurting kind.

I enjoy doing it, I enjoy being a mean person.

Is not because of PMS.

(I am still denying.)

My life must be really boring..

My friend said I wrote a lot these days.

He said there are so many dying blogs, dead blog, or blog for sale out there but I have been writing for so many years.

Then he said, "Your life must be really boring..

or, you just don't have anyone to sleep with at home."

WTF.

I don't need anything to make me stop writing. Some people start writing for a reason, that's why, when the reason is not the reason for keeping it up anymore, they stop.

For instance, if my life must be really boring so I write, the one day, if my life is not boring anymore, I will join the blog for sale group.

Just admit it, people are too selfish to start something spontaneously or without a purpose, you do this for a purpose, you hate that for a purpose. Its just depends whether you are smart enough to know the real intention of your action.

Too bad, dumb people are everywhere, so they prefer assuming.